First Blog Post of 2025 – 30s Series

Hi everyone,

This is my first blog post of 2025, and also the first entry in my "30s" series. I can't believe I'm turning 30 this year! My first blog post was when I was 16 years old, back in 2011—it's been 13 years! Oh my god, I feel so old, haha.

Since I’m writing this at the age of 30 (though not officially just yet), I thought I’d take a moment to reflect on what my 30s might hold, and maybe even revisit my mid-20s, which I didn’t exactly enjoy.

To be honest, before turning 30, I went through several crises and emotional roller coasters—loneliness, envy, self-disappointment, low spirits, and losing track of what I wanted in life. Honestly, I hated my mid-20s and was kinda jealous when I saw people living their best lives in their 20s because I barely remember having any happy moments. All I could recall were heavy moments, especially during my degree years (23-26). I was really struggling. I was so lost and lonely, I couldn’t graduate on time, had to retake papers, and dragged out my semester. Meanwhile, my older sibling seemed to know what they were doing, and even my younger sister and classmates graduated on time and started working before me. I was so jealous of how they started earning their own money while I, in my 20s, was still depending on my parents. It made me realize just how much of a burden I was to them when I should have been supporting them, and how much time I had lost while trying to finish what I had started. Not to mention, many of my friends had found partners (and I’m still single, haha), were busy building families, buying property, and landing great jobs aligned with their studies—while I was still stuck in the same place, not making any real progress. It really destroyed my positivity and confidence. At one point, I almost gave up on my studies and everything. I felt useless because everything seemed to work out for them, but not for me.

Every time I saw my friends living their best lives on social media, I felt envy slap me in the face, and it was so hard to swallow. I honestly trained myself to be happy for them and kept reminding myself that life isn’t a race. It’s not about who’s the fastest or slowest. We all have our own paths and fortunes, and all I could do was keep going and trust in Allah's plan. With this mindset, I slowly managed to get through that tough phase, and alhamdulillah, I made it.

Looking back now, what happened during that time seems like a small matter and almost laughable. I think to myself, “How could I have been that hard on myself?” But at the time, everything felt so important and overwhelming. I couldn’t laugh about it then—I could only cry. It was tough. I even thought it would be nice to have a reset button so I could fix everything and make better choices. Maybe return to the past just to slap myself, wake her up into reality, and be stricter with time management—urgh.

Anyway, enough about the 20s. It’s time to let go and move forward. I don’t want to dwell on it anymore; it’s in the past now.

Now let’s talk about the 30s.

Before this, I thought that turning 30 would be considered "old." Back then, I saw 30 as the age when we finally become true adults. Compared to our 20s, when we’re like high school graduates still trying to figure out our place in the world, those in their 30s seemed to have it all figured out—more stable, mentally stronger, and just... more chill. That was my perspective back then. But now, as I’m getting closer to 30, I see things differently. I’ve realized that people in their 30s have just gone through their own struggles to find their path and are learning to settle with whatever life brings. If they see new opportunities, they pursue them; if not, they stay where they are.

And you know, probably because we've been fed by social media that being 30 is considered old, there are tons of videos and people on social media showing/expressing their worries and anxiety before reaching their 30s. A lot of advice is given regarding finances, aging, wrinkles, and changes in the body—stuff that I hear a lot from mostly younger people. But ironically, the people who are in their 30s, 40s, and 50s would say that the 30s are still young. "Take it easy," "You still have a long journey ahead," "Enjoy the journey." When I think about it, yeah, it's true! 

While I’m writing this, I still can’t believe I’m turning 30. And if you’re asking me, "How does it feel being in your 30s?" Well, not much has changed. Everything feels pretty much the same, except for the fact that your age is higher, and your energy might be a bit more drained. Oh, maybe some back pain? Haha.

I guess that's all for now on my opinion of turning 30, since I’m still early into this age. Haven’t reached the whole year yet. But somehow, I wonder, as I don’t know what the future holds, and I have no idea what awaits me. Will I find someone finally? Will I have new opportunities in my career? Will I die young? I don’t know. But I’ve had an idea: maybe I should track my 30s with more blog posts. It would be nice to look back at my thoughts and life progress through writing.

I can’t promise to write regularly, but look forward to it!