Hi everyone!
It’s Frid-yay today! Hope you all have a lively working day and a happy weekend ahead.
I don’t have much planned to write today, nor did I intend to post anything, but something from yesterday popped into my mind.
Actually, I secretly like reading posts on X (formerly Twitter) — TwtjodohMY, where people are looking for a partner or relationship. Technically, they’re self-marketing, promoting themselves with the main goal of dating and eventually marrying. So, I saw this one post and was kind of interested in getting to know him, but at the same time, I hesitated to reach out. After a while, I decided to give it a shot and WhatsApped him. You know, taking the first step to see where things could go. Unfortunately, he wasn’t interested because, at that moment, he was specifically looking for a Chinese girl first (Oh yeah, he’s a Chinese guy, haha).
I was like, cool, totally understandable. Because I also take religion and culture into account. Plus, it’s better to be honest rather than give false hope.
To be honest, throughout my whole life, I’ve never been in a relationship — to be precise, I don’t have any experience in one. I do have crushes, but they usually stay as crushes. I don’t have the courage to speak up, and some of my crushes were already in relationships. I’m not someone who likes to get in the way of someone else’s relationship — I just want to find my own happiness. I don’t dare to act on it, and I wish to prevent any such situations from happening by all means. I’ve also had some people who liked me, but I couldn’t reciprocate the feelings. I don’t want to accept it out of pity because, at the end of the day, we’d just end up hurting each other. That’s why I decided not to move forward with that person. It’s better to feel the hurt of rejection than to be hurt by someone you love, if that makes sense.
And if you ask me whether I’ve ever tried to get into one, the answer is: Yes, I have. But I always get stuck in the talking stage. Either he ghosts me, or I’m the one who loses interest. Sometimes, I find that the initial spark fades quickly if there's no follow-up or effort to keep the conversation going.
I guess because of all this, it’s the main reason I’m so curious about my future partner, because I seem to have never reached or found him yet. I can’t take any guesses at all. How and where will we meet? Is he local? Someone I know? A total stranger? Maybe a foreigner? Maybe someone much younger than me? Older than me? Or maybe I’ll meet him in the afterlife?
The idea of dying single and then being granted a husband in the afterlife is really tempting, though, because I can be with whoever I want — and bonus, it’ll be in HEAVEN & FOREVER AFTER! Hahaha.
Maybe I should just keep that in mind for now until I actually find someone in this life. Haha, no stress, just a happy thought!
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