Not Ready, but Willing to Trust

I think I need to admit something to myself.

The reason I keep holding back from marriage—even though deep down, I do want it—is because I don’t feel mentally ready to build a family of my own.

I overthink a lot. I care too much, sometimes without realizing it. And maybe, in my own way, that’s how I protect myself. Over time, I think I’ve built this invisible wall around me. I’ve told myself it's for safety, but maybe it’s also been holding me back from something I actually long for.

People have told me that you never really know when you're ready. Not everyone enters marriage feeling fully prepared. Some people just go forward despite their fears, their imperfections, and their worries. And they still make it through.

I believe that’s because Allah gives them strength. He opens that path for them because He knows they can grow through it—even if they don’t feel strong enough at the start.

And maybe… when the time is right, He’ll do the same for me.

For now, I’m learning to be patient—with myself, with the process, and with the quiet wisdom of His timing.

Doa untuk ketenangan hati dan petunjuk dalam urusan jodoh:

“Ya Allah, jika hatiku belum benar-benar bersedia, tenangkanlah jiwaku dengan kasih-Mu. Bukakan jalanku dengan rahmat-Mu. Dan apabila tiba waktunya, berilah aku kekuatan untuk menerima cinta yang Engkau redai, dan membinanya dengan sabar, dengan iman, dan dengan penuh harapan kepada-Mu. Amin.”